He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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