Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
