its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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