are you still at the devil's house?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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