ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
