Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
