yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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