Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
this will be a night to untag.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Randomize
