Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
