Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
