He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
