My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Randomize
