Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
