nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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