Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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