roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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