i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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