i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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