Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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