My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Welp...herpes.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
