so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
