A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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