He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
