Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
