I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
