They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
