I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
