I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize