Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
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we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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