did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Let's paint friendship bongs
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
