His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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