I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize