my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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