I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You were trust falling into bushes
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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