Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i dont even know how to be here
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
