when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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