This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
