Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
