Too much gin, very little bucket
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
