The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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