You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
