its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
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What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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