we're blogging at a bar
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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