I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
