yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
