if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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