if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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