Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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