Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you didnt know i had herpes?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
