so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
