i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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