is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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