I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
