Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize