People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
