nut hugger
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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