You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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