Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
