Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
