I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Randomize
